I just will not eat.

So, me and my sister just got done doing a 2 mile walk work-out thing at 2:57am.. And I think I'm going to start exercising. I mean really. I'm really fat. And I need to like diet, and exercise. Or just will not eat. And exercise.I think I look fine sometimes. But I could be as gorgeous as I used to be. Hm.. yes, I think that sounds good. I'm tired of being the fat ugly girl that everyone thinks is worthless. Its time I got some attention. Oh my god. I just realize I didn't go to the beach at all this summer. No, I haven't gone to the beach this year. Jesus!!!! That's epic. Anyway yeah. I'm gonna start loosing weight. You'll see. EVERYONE will love me !! It'll be abso-fucking-loutly amazing. I kinda miss being the way I used to be. Conceded, yes of course, I had a perfect body, I really don't understand how I got the way I am, and no don't for one second say, "YOU ATE TO MUCH AND YOU DIDN'T EXERCISE" because that's not it at all. I just don't have a fast metabolism. The doctor even said so. It just stopped doing what it was supposed to, and now I'm as big as a whale. Don't try and stop me. I wanna be this way again, and I'm going to do whatever it takes. I wanna be who I used to, the girl who could have anyone she wanted whenever she wanted. The girl who got so many compliments from strangers. The girl that everyone loved to hate. Me. Skinny Me. I'm sick of everyone telling me, "Oh get skinny" or "Be like that again" This is my 6Th attempt. And I will complete it. With victory. I'll overcome my laziness, and irresponsibility for myself. Just so I can look in the mirror one more time and say, "God, I'm so fucking hott, seriously! Look at me! I'm gorgeous!" Hm.. and I think its pretty ridiculous when my mom calls her own daughter fat. "Every time I look at you your bigger and bigger. SHE SEE'S ME EVERYDAY! But whatever. I already hate the way I look. Lets let family make it worse. This is whats going on now. And so far I'm ready for the pain, struggle, and reward, from whats about to happen.